Trust yourself. When it feels wrong, it’s wrong.
Whilst many people assume it will never happen to them, abusive behaviour in relationships often begins subtly, causing people to doubt their own instincts, perceptions, and feelings. Physical and sexual violence are not the only forms in which abuse takes place within relationships. An abusive relationship is any relationship in which one person is made to feel afraid.
Spotting the red flags:
Sudden withdrawal of love and affection; sulking, ghosting, the silent treatment
Belittling and degrading language and insults
Threats of violence
Threats of sharing private photos
Sabotaging a person’s relationships or career
Damaging possessions and property
Checking your messages, emails or social media messages
Following you to check where you are
Does it feel wrong?
Abusive relationships have a way of making people doubt themselves, but if it feels wrong, it is wrong. Regaining trust in yourself is an important part of recovering and it can begin by asking for help.
What do I do if I think my relationship is abusive?
- The first step is to report the situation through Report and Support. This is a report to our wellbeing team, not an ‘official’ complaint to the university, so it won’t trigger any investigations or disciplinary processes by the university, even if another student is involved.
- Once you have made a report, you will be contacted by our wellbeing team within two working days, to arrange a meeting with them as soon as possible. The team offer face to face, online and phone support and will be guided by you to establish how you want to access support.
- The team will support you, offering guidance and support and making you aware of your options which could include an official report to the University via the Complaints route, a Police report or referrals to external specialist support services as well as our internal support teams.
- If you want to report the behaviour via Report and Support, but don’t feel able to give your name, then you can report it anonymously, but this means the wellbeing team won’t be able to contact you or respond to your reported concern. Instead, your report will reviewed and appropriate action under the universities processes and procedures may be considered should there be an identified need to, otherwise the report will be closed with no further action taken.